Adversity and Agency

It seems to me that the more people face adverse conditions in their life it causes them to make a choice. They can either choose to see how it strengthened them, or they can take offense that they were exposed to those conditions in the first place. In First Nephi, Lehi's family has eight long years that they travel through the Arabian Peninsula to the land Bountiful. During that time they brought children into the world. It's difficult enough to take care of Lucy in our house, much less the desert. In chapter 17 we read Nephi's response to their journey, and then later Laman and Lemuels response.

1 Nephi 17:

[Nephi]

1 And it came to pass that we did again take our journey in the wilderness; and we did travel nearly eastward from that time forth. And we did travel and ^awade through much affliction in the wilderness; and our ^bwomen did bear children in the wilderness.

2 And so great were the ^ablessings of the Lord upon us, that while we did live upon ^braw ^cmeat in the wilderness, our women did give plenty of suck for their children, and were strong, yea, even like unto the men; and they began to bear their journeyings without murmurings.

3 And thus we see that the commandments of God must be fulfilled. And if it so be that the children of men keep the commandments of God he doth nourish them, and ^astrengthen them, and provide means whereby they can accomplish the thing which he has commanded them; wherefore, he did ^bprovide means for us while we did sojourn in the wilderness.

4 And we did sojourn for the space of many years, yea, *even eight years in the wilderness.

[Laman and Lemuel]
20 And thou art like unto our father, led away by the foolish ^aimaginations of his heart; yea, he hath led us out of the land of Jerusalem, and we have wandered in the wilderness for these many years; and our women have toiled, being big with child; and they have borne children in the wilderness and suffered all things, save it were death; and it would have been better that they had died before they came out of Jerusalem than to have suffered these afflictions.

21 Behold, these many years we have suffered in the wilderness, which time we might have enjoyed our possessions and the land of our inheritance; yea, and we might have been happy.

It's obvious to see that Laman and Lemuel chose to focus on themselves and what they had missed out on, instead of what they had been given. Any time we use our agency to focus on ourselves we miss the point of adversity.

The other day I read a blog of a friend who had recently gone under some severe adversity. I won't use her name, but I will say that she suffered a stillborn pregnancy. They live far from adequate hospital care, and her condition was worsened due to the long distance she had to travel. She was hopeful the baby would be born alive long enough to give it a name and a blessing, but found her condition deteriorated so quickly once at the hospital that emergency surgery was necessary, and the baby would not be born alive even for a short time. So many things about her situation seem unfair. She's lived a good life, and done her best to do what's right. Many people may even say she has a right to be upset about what happened, and almost all people would be, whether they thought they had the right or not. And although I'm sure she has undisclosed feelings, they are of grief and not hostility. Here's what she wrote on her blog, with the names withheld:

The hospital staff was wonderful. As [my husband] and I have looked back at the events of the last 2 days we have felt the Lords hand in so many situations. Had I not come to Utah for care, had I not had the epidural at the exact time I did. Because of the swiftness of the birth, the baby was not born alive. Though I wanted the experience of holding my live baby I have to admit I don't know if I could have handled it. The Lord knows us and we have felt his comforting spirit though these past few days. We had the chance to see [our baby] for a few wonderful minutes. She was born perfect. I will always keep the image of her body in my arms a sweet memory.

I know that as we look for the good in all situations we will see the hand of the Lord, and see how merciful he has been unto all of us.